Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Peace, Order, and Good Government

With Canada Day here, it's a good time to reflect on the state of politics in this country. And the one conclusion I reach is: man, are Canadian politics ever boring compared to the States. I mean, even the "boring" US governors get embroiled in juicy scandals:

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, just back from a secret trip to Argentina unknown to his staff or his wife, admitted Wednesday he has carried on an extramarital affair with a woman in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

[...]

The South Carolina governor had not been seen in public since June 18. When questioned, Sanford's staff told media outlets Sanford was hiking on the Appalachian Trail. But Sanford was spotted Wednesday in Atlanta, Georgia's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport.

Sanford said he had been in Buenos Aires. He said it was his fault for "shrouding this larger trip."


This following Eliot Spitzer's prostitutes, Rod Blagojevich selling a senate seat, James McGreevey's secret gay affair, and a slew of other high-profile governor scandals. And, say what you will about Sarah Palin or Ah-nuld, but at least they're interesting.

In comparison, what do we get from our Premiers? Danny Williams raising his voice on a talk radio show? OH MY GOD! Diverging accounting systems being used in BC? Man, will Colbert ever have fun with that one, eh?

Seriously, it's as if there was a reality show to find the 10 most bland, boring, middle aged white guys, and the winners are now our provincial Premiers.

And things appear to be worsening. It's not like Rodney MacDonald was a wild news maker, but at least he played the fiddle. Instead, he gets replaced by...I dunno...some dude who is already the "stump the At Issue Panel" punch line, a position routinely given to the most bland, unrecognizable politicians in Canada. We still haven't recovered from the tragic loss of Ralph Klein from the Premier ranks a few years ago; say what you will about Ralph, but at least he could be counted on to entertain. Instead, he gets replaced by a man so boring, he was described as follows by Graham Thompson:

If we're ever in the situation where the world is about to be destroyed by a giant asteroid in 15 minutes, somebody should have Premier Ed Stelmach hold a news conference and broadcast it around the globe.

For anyone watching, that final quarter of an hour will seem like an eternity. At the 10-minute mark people will be cheering on the asteroid.

To sit through a Stelmachian news conference is to witness an end to the laws of relativity and syntax as we know them.


Look, I'm not saying it's a good thing to have Governors or Premiers embroiled in scandal. But would it kill Gary Doer to get arrested for streaking across the field at a Bombers game, or something?

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15 Comments:

  • Well, we had Bernier. And, there may be stuff we just don't know about.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:34 AM  

  • You realize that Graham Thomson column is dated from two years ago, right?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:21 AM  

  • I wouldn't mind boring if it came with competant and coherant!

    By Blogger Party of One, at 11:27 AM  

  • Don't forget Gordon Campbell. Caught drunk driving in Hawaii. Or his solictor general John van Dongen who resigned over a history of speeding tickets. He was in charge of speeding violation programs.

    By Blogger JimTan, at 1:06 PM  

  • The September 12th court date in Quebec of the convicted AdScam advertising executive should be interesting.

    His lawyer said he will barter names of the Liberals and Liberal ridings that received $35 million in taxpayer cash in exchange for him not having to serve jail time.

    By Anonymous Marie, at 1:48 PM  

  • Happy Canada Day, CG! Don't let all the Peace, Order, and Good Government get you down.

    By Blogger - K, at 1:50 PM  

  • Maybe this link will spruce it up for you!! May not be our politicans but they donated to this group.
    http://www.smalldeadanimals.com/archives/011743.html

    By Blogger Alberta Altruist, at 3:34 PM  

  • DUI isn't the only Gordon Campbell public image blemish you hear out here in BC (I've heard some intriguing rumours multiple times from pretty credible people.) But every journalist holds their tongue for fear of losing their jobs. Kind of how the national press won't actually say John Baird is gay, even when he shows up at a gay fundraiser and we see photos online - but without even hints.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:15 PM  

  • Oops, didn't mean to imply there was something wrong with John Baird's being gay - far from it! I just wanted to highlight how, when it comes to "personal life" issues, even if every tongue is wagging in political and media circles, nothing gets printed. And while you could appreciate the "lack of prurient interest", that's not why our media doesn't cover scandals they know about. It's simply trying to maintain access.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:19 PM  

  • Dennis Fentie, the government leader in the Yukon is a convicted drug dealer - if that cheers you up.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:37 PM  

  • Danny Williams ditched his long-suffering wife for his "press secretary".

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:07 AM  

  • Marc emery claims to have smoked pot with Justin Trudeau and then goes to name the dirty rep of tons of Canadian politicians in this article. http://westernstandard.blogs.com/shotgun/2008/09/marc-emery-on-d.html

    But yeah, do I want our politicians personal lives coming forward? No, I don't.

    Boring is good, that means no one is angry and the government is functioning. Generally speaking, exciting politics in a healthy democracy is bad for the nation (except if you live in Alberta). Just saying.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:22 AM  

  • In Canada we don't tend to pry into our politicians' personal lives too much, which is likely why we hear a lot less about juicy sex scandals. If the media and opposition did this more (like they do in the USA), then I'm sure we'd find some pretty scandalous details about some of our provincial Premiers.

    Also, 50 states versus 10 provinces, means a higher chance of having some crazy Governors.

    And there are some provincial Premiers that are still entertaining, Danny Williams's constant state of anger and outrage always makes for good viewing (especially when he blasts Harper).

    Then there's Shawn Graham, his government is like a terrible car accident - you know it's horrible and tragic, yet you feel compelled to watch. Check out this e-mail exchange between Graham's (now former) Education Minister, Kelly Lamrock, as he picks on a middle school student.

    By Anonymous Lincoln Darwin, at 1:48 PM  

  • Ray Heard, steadfastly loyal Liberal says that Michael Ignatieff cheated on his wife with Debbie Rowe. Blanket Jackson is Iggy's baby.

    Oh and what about that gay sex scandal Mike Duffy was talking about?

    (oh and we still have like, the Munsinger affair, right?)

    *sigh*

    Even John Major had an affair - is Canada even more boring than Britain's dullest PM?

    By Blogger hosertohoosier, at 11:39 PM  

  • I am glad we don't care so much about some things. When Vic Towes,for some time arguably Canada's toughest, pro-Christian, traditional values politician, was caught having a baby with a woman who was not his wife, there was hardly mention of it in the press. Just think what the reaction would have been in the US if such information was released about his political equal, say John Ashcroft, whil he was still in power. Our politics are in the gutter enough as it is.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:41 AM  

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